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A woman had ordered her food and when I went back to do the ‘is everything okay with your meal?’ check she started shouting really loudly that there was a hair in her food; the restaurant was disgusting, she wanted compensation as she was nearly sick, she's calling the health inspector, etc., etc.
Me: ‘I'm so sorry, let me take this away for you and bring you something fresh. May I see the hair?’
Customer: ‘are you calling me a liar bitch? Who the fuck do you think you are? I want the manager!’
At this point the whole restaurant is looking on in awkward/intrigued silence. My fellow wait-staff are watching to see what will happen next.
I look down at the plate. There is a long dark hair draped neatly across the meal. No bite has been taken yet but a piece has been cut off the meat to look ‘eaten’.
Me: ‘ I'm not calling you a liar, I merely wanted to see the hair to establish which of our staff it came from so I could remind them the importance of pulled back, tidy hair. However this does not appear to be one of ours’.
At this point I call over the other two waitresses and ask one of them to quickly grab the chef and sous chef. They all come over to the table.
Me: “As you can see we have two redheads, two blondes and a bald man. This hair is long and dark. In fact it looks remarkably like your long dark hair. Things like this happen; as it's one of your own would you like to finish your meal?”
Customer: “I wouldn't eat in this shithole even if you paid me.”
Me: “Not a problem. It's probably best then if you leave. Don't worry about paying for the drinks you have had, perhaps use the money you have saved today towards sorting out those split ends.”
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